“Why are these LGBTQ people going so damn gaga over repealing this law?? It’s getting too much now. Okay, you are legal now, we get it!!”
“Aren’t these gay people really weird? They look so weird with lipsticks, kajal and all these funny clothes! Are they sure they are gay? Some of them seem like they are just here to grab attention.”
3 years since the landmark Supreme Court judgment decriminalizing the colonial-era Section 377, yet the above statements continue to be heard across the wide spectrum of educated, qualified, urban population. These are people who are your colleagues, friends and might have even interacted or lived with or know people from LGBTQIA+ community yet continue to harbour deep-seated bias and prejudices. Things have changed a whole lot over the last one decade and there’s a lot to cheer about. Bhubaneswar has had pride parades and people have come out to their friends in Khatti groups too (as unbelievable as that sounds!). Yet there’s still a long way to go.
When Dutee Chand first came out as queer, she was celebrated across the world for the sheer amount of bravery she displayed even as her family and village publicly disowned her. However, the same people who interviewed her went behind her back and termed her coming out story as a ‘publicity stunt’ in closed groups, cafes & Press clubs.
In an article published in U.S News, writer Shefali Anand mentions the many stigmas the community continues to face in daily life, many times denied employment because of their sexuality. “They continue to face violence and harassment from their families, in schools, on the streets and at the workplace. Many are subjected to “conversion” therapy, forced marriages and “corrective rape.” In a society that struggles with diversity in every sphere already, understanding the various layers of sexuality seems like a far-fetched dream.
So, what’s going on?
Homosexuality continues to be a taboo for most youths in Odisha. For conservative societies it is hard to shake off traditional gender norms. Add to that the kind of representation the community gets to see in Bollywood films. Says Soumitri, an MBA student from Bhubaneswar, “People are kind of naturally homophobic since that’s what they are taught at their homes all their lives. Just look at the use of the term ‘Maichia'’. These are home-grown gaalis and these are the terms that perpetuate hatred.”
Coming out even in the capital city Bhubaneswar is still a difficult thing for most queer folks, let alone any other place in Odisha. There are very few forums that are dedicated towards LGBTQIA+ welfare and no designated places or forums where people can find other queer people to associate with on problems they face in navigating a largely heterosexual world. Says Arya Senapati, probably the first queer person from Cuttack to come out, “We need an organization that specializes in queer culture. What we have right now are mostly recreational clubs, more like a dating pool, there’s no activism there, it’s very pretentious.”
In Odisha, Parichay Foundation, Odisha Rainbow Collective, The Outcaste LGBTQIA+ are some of the visible, well-known & active organizations that continue to work towards eradicating homophobia, transphobia & misogyny that is often sold in the name of entertainment. While discussions and visibility of the community has increased over the past few years, the dogmas and stereotypes haven’t died down, even among the elite, well-read clubs of the society. And both gay men and women become a victim of heterosexual violence & unsolicited advances. Traditional gender norms play havoc with their minds too. For queer women, the pressures of marrying a man continue to exist and for men, maintaining their ‘masculine’ image in front of their friends continues to be an issue.
Behind the Closeted Space
For Rabi Raj, founder of The Outcaste LGBTQIA+, it’s the lack of self acceptance that is the root of the problem. While the number of users in apps like Grindr have increased, most members still consider their same-sex attraction a phase. “We need to work on awareness among the LGBTQIA+ community. As a group, we have conducted such sessions in educational institutions and we have been invited by a lot of Bahujan groups for the same. COVID-19 led us to suspend more such sessions that we had planned,” says Rabi Raj. Their plan is to touch more schools & colleges where grassroot level awareness can be carried out.
Since most of these activities continue to be urban-centric, The Outcaste LGBTQIA+ is trying to create awareness in Western Odisha, especially rural areas. “I am from a rural area and we have queer people here. There’s no mechanism through which they gather more information about their sexuality and who they are.” Rabi Raj came out 5 years ago and since then has been working on community level to make the youth understand their identities even as casteism continues to rear its ugly head. For him, it's all about generating pride in queer folks in who they are. “I have personally met a lot of transgenders as well and their problems & concerns are different which you wouldn’t know unless you talk to them. It’s important to communicate,” says Rabi Raj. There are certain biases within the community that need to be addressed without which queer people will never be able to accept themselves for who they are, he asserts.
Toxic Masculinity too?
Similar sentiment was echoed by Soumitri who had quite a difficult time in relationships with closeted gay men who went on to marry women but would blame him for lack of intimacy in their married life. “I blamed myself as well for a long time. But, you know, it’s nobody else but their own insecurity and toxic masculinity. This show of toughness in men is bizarre & it destroys lives. I know a lot of gay men who admit that they will ultimately marry a woman. But what about her? Why lie to her? Why destroy someone else’s life in the whole process? It’s not her fault,” he says.
Arya mentions his experiences with dating a girl when he was a teen. “I studied in a convent school and there’s a lot of criticism about gender identities in such schools. I have always been quite effeminate and a lot of my teachers would advise me to mingle with boys and indulge in masculine activities while I liked being friends with girls. My relationship with my girlfriend lasted a week before I realized I can’t do this anymore; it’s not who I am. This constant internal battle about your identity and dealing with the societal concept of masculinity is very real,” he recalls. A lot of these people are elite, educated men with a superior social standing, reputation & a ‘proper’ image.
Inclusivity & General Acceptance
Alliances matter and societal opinions govern everything in the world, Arya reiterates. And that is why, the heterosexual community has a liability to understand and ally with the queer community. Arya considers himself privileged enough that his friends and teachers understand things better now and show curiosity if they don’t. Soumitri, who came out to his parents in 2017, dealt with varied experiences, both good & bad from his peers. “There were people who treated me like an outcast, refusing to talk or interact with me. There’d be others who’d ask my friends to stop mingling with me. I’m openly gay and I do get a lot of support from my friends who stand up for me.” The trauma though was severe and caused him to shy away whenever he changed cities. “There have been changes since 2018, no doubt, but those are very minute changes. Sexuality is a very fragile concept. People are somehow scared of LGBTQIA+ community. Friend circle influence is actually a thing and it plays a huge role in how you accept & interact with queer people.”
One would think urban folks have a better understanding of Gay rights. Not really. Soumitri recounts an encounter he had with a woman who asked him, ”Now you guys will also get married, right?” “I was baffled. I asked her what made her assume that. She mentioned abolishment of Section 377. I asked her what she knew about it. Clearly, she didn’t. You wouldn’t believe but many urban, educated, young populace have no clue about Section 377 and what its abolishment means. They have all the tools to educate themselves, but they choose not to.” There’s a lot of unlearning required here, much like it does with sexism.
Understand & Normalize
How do we go about making the LGBTQIA+ community a part of mainstream society? As a law student, Arya feels it’s about bringing queer perspective in our institutions. “Mixed minority people face challenges at a multifold level. We need people who have an understanding of it. A queer patient will feel more comfortable talking about sexual & reproductive health with a queer doctor. Same is the case with having a queer lawyer or a queer judge. We need that representation because all laws are hetero-normative in our society.” He feels mass media too needs to rally around LGBTQIA+ community and aid in awareness. However, a longer but more impactful shot would be to include gender and queer studies in school education from an early age.
Odisha Rainbow Collective, one of the few LGBTQIA+ organizations based out of Puri, reiterates on the ‘otherness’ that the community faces. “Odisha has less amount of Discrimination towards the LGBTQIA+ Community people but its still not fully co-operative to us. We need opportunities beyond sexual orientation/ gender identity. There are many Transgender people who are looking for jobs, good education, better accommodation etc. as they come out fully to the society from a very young age. However, communities in rural area are still unaware of their rights, orientation, Safe sex practices, Sex Education.” The forum is 2 years old and is . “We are looking forward to people collaborating with us & together we can make this world a safe space for Humanity, Human Rights, Liberation, Equality. Because society still needs to change its perception towards the community & stop making us feel like we are some unique creatures. We are just Normal Human Beings.”
Need for Self Acceptance
Above all, it is vital that a queer person is able to accept themselves first. “I see people in apps like Grindr still refusing to accept they are gay. We can’t expect others to accept us if we don’t harbour acceptance in our own selves. Irrespective of your identity or sexual orientation, a person needs to accept themselves the way they are,” says Soumitri.
Rabi Raj echoes the same angst. “I don’t know if it's because some are egoistic and feel accepting their queerness will put them in a disadvantaged/weak position in society. You can stay closeted if you like. But you can’t expect others to accept you if you have trouble with it. It’s like they say, how can you love someone else, if you don’t even like yourself the way you are?”
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